People Without Accents are Non-Existent

Normally I enjoy reading thoughtcatalog, whether the thoughts are silly, interesting, wise, or whatever else. I don’t agree with some of the thoughts posted there, but the one I read today actually made me mad. As in, fume in an empty living room with anger, furious. But I’ve calmed down a little since and realized I shouldn’t be in rant-mode when typing up my reaction to ‘People with Accents Are Stupid’.

If the title is some tricky way of saying everyone is stupid, then I’m more inclined to agree. I just don’t think that’s it.

The author clearly separates those without accents (people who sound 100% ‘American’, I’m guessing? It wasn’t clarified whether non-accented people are from San Francisco, Dallas, Detroit, Boston, or New York) and… everyone else. How do you react to something so absurd? People without accents do not exist.*

It would be easy to take shots at the ridiculous sentences included in the article and vent. ‘I’m so glad the author-person was able to convince an accent-biased girl to dance and hate her for it!’ ‘As long as you wear purple velvet and speek liek zis, Vogue would totally hire you! They wouldn’t be annoyed at all that you merely take up space!’ I wonder if the author ever tried being a charismatic, enchanting worldly American. They can exist, you know.

There were little bits I reluctantly admit I like. Capes, for example. I’ve always like capes. It might actually be amusing if the title changed to ‘People With Fake Accents Are Stupid’. Most people with fake accents fake them for the very purpose of acting stupid, being silly, providing entertainment, sparking laughter, or all of the above.

Changing a person’s natural way of speaking takes a lot of work and often a lot of time. Even then accents can blend together for something completely unique. A person’s accent is a part of who they are, regardless of whether or not they are a ‘foreigner’ in your eyes. We’re all foreign to somebody and accents are just a part of the difference.

To me, the sentence ‘people with accents are stupid’ is something along the lines of ‘people with hair are dumb’, or ‘people who wear clothes are idiots’. You know, hair definitely drains all the blood from a person’s head so they can’t think as clearly, and wearing clothes just hides who they truly are!! Yeah – NO.

* Even if a person speaks sign language, there are also ‘accents’ whether angles of gestures or different vocabulary!